Disgaea Scripted
by RezleVettems
Summary: A gag story about randomly conceived stories in my head. All are nonlinear and just made for fun so if you're in the mood for some easy reading and what I assumed is funny dialogue then come read this fanfic written in script format.
1. A Love Most Vile

Disgaea Scripted

A Love Most Vile

Author's Note: In order to be cheap and lazy, I present a fanfic written in script format in hopes of disappointing, disgusting and down right making you feel insulted! Naturally I'm kidding. I've written it this way because a script feels natural for Disgaea and since this is mostly gag, I'm not putting a ton of effort into this. Just weird things that pop up into my head now in written format. Enjoy the brain juice!

Prinny: Rumor! Rumor! I've heard an unbelievable rumor today dood!

Almaz: Oh, a prinny. What's he talking about?

Raspberyl: He's talking about rumors and gossiping is a bad habit. As a delinquent I cannot approve. Shall we beat him up?

Almaz: And rough housing is a delinquent solution to all this? Why don't we hear him out? Could be important.

Sapphire: And if it isn't can we blow him up?

Almaz: I guess. That's what they're designed for.

Prinny: Overlord Mao...he has a girlfriend!

Everyone(including the prinny and a possessed doorknob): Eeh?!

Almaz: Wait, why are you reacting to your own rumor?

Prinny: We Prinnies are desperate to feel involved in things.

Raspberyl: A girlfriend? Now that _is_ a rumor!

Sapphire: I have to agree, Mao doesn't seem like someone who would fall in love. Or even be gentle.

Almaz: That's a bit suggestive. But how do you know about this?

Prinny: People have been seeing him with a girl for the past week!

Raspberyl: We haven't seen a lot of him this week have we?

Almaz: It's been a week and you haven't noticed he was gone?!

Raspberyl: We're demons. We live for eons. Time is nothing to us.

Almaz: What a waste.

Raspberyl: Now, instead of snooping around and dancing around the issue, let's just head to his house and ask.

Almaz: A logical solution.

Sapphire: And if he denies it we can torture the information out of him.

Almaz: There goes my last attempt at normality.

* * *

Mao: Are you ready?

Conveniently shadowed girl:....

Raspberyl: Well, this is surprising. Mao's actually got a girlfriend.

Almaz: Interesting? Somehow I think that's an understatement.

Sapphire: Quite so Almaz. Who would put up being with him at such an intimate level?

Almaz: Not exactly what I meant Princess...

Mao: Silence! There's a reason people whisper things like this.

Raspberyl: Aww, are you embarrassed now that everyone knows you are capable of love?

Mao: L-l-l-love?! You...you imbecile! This is not love, this relationship is based on the most putrid, vile, malevolent emotions any demon can feel.

Sapphire: Disappointment?

Mao: Disappointment? Are, are you kidding me?! Of all the foul emotions to choose you picked that?

Raspberyl: Cut the chatter. Whose the girl Mao? We wanna meet her.

Almaz: Yeah, we're all really curious who she is.

Mao: Heh, my girlfriend is a special person indeed. So special she can't be obtained through normal means. With the littlest effort she has built a cult of mindless slaves to worship her and fight for her at the drop of a pin. I present to you, the girlfriend of the Overlord! Ahahahahaha!!!

Plenair:......

Almaz: No way! Isn't she the Class Representative NPC?

Raspveryl: I've heard in other NetherWorlds she can take you to the Dark Assembly. She even works for a popular news station in a place called Veldime.

Pleinair:....

Alamz: Is she going to say anything?

Mao: You fool! Eternal speechlessness is one of her many charms. If you were like me you'd be able to read the thousand signs of body language she just emitted to express herself.

Almaz: A thousand?! Wow, she must have high speed.

Mao: And good HIT ratings too. She's great with guns.

Sapphire: I'm surprised you're dating such a person. Then again you do quite a lot of talking yourself so her being quiet must bring balance to your relationship.

Mao: She also sends a horrifying aura almost constantly. It excites me to no end with her creepy ways and assassin like nature.

Almaz: I don't think it's safe for an Overlord to be dating someone with assassin like qualities.

Mao: You keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Almaz: By turning potential murderers into your girlfriend?

Mao: Shut up! I don't have to justify my relationship to you. I'll go ahead and say how I feel. I love Pleinair!

Sapphire: OOC!! He's out of character! We have to stop him Alamz!

Almaz: He does seem to be a bit different. Should we fight him? Since we're the main characters in this cutscene that means he'll definitely be weaker right? Let me see....nope, he's still level 9999. All stats pushing on a billion.

Mao: You didn't let me finish. Our love is an evolved form of love, a love especially for demons. It's a combination of chaos, fear, power, lust and overall wickedness! The affection and romance from this kind of hellish love is satanically delicious!

Champloo: Boom!

Almaz: What an evil love!

Raspberyl: Wow. I'm impressed. Either you're bluffing to such a degree that you're making the school founders cry with pride or...you've really made a dangerous discovery Mao.

Mao: Look in your demon heart and you know the answer.

Raspberyl: Indeed I do. Well, I think it's high time we leave these two lovebirds off to their pecking.

Sapphire: I suppose so. They probably have a lot of hateful things to say to each other, which I assume you demons do.

Almaz: Princess, let's not dive too much into the world of demon romance. Human love is plenty good without its corruption. See ya later Mao.

Mao: So long subordinates!

Mao: Now that they're gone it's probably time we head over to that new restaurant you wanted to go to right?

Pleinair:....

Mao: What? You don't wanna go? Are you feeling okay?

Pleinair:...

Mao: Did I mean what I said about being in love with you?

Pleinair:....

Mao: Gah! You know how I feel, why must you make me say it?!

Pleinair:....!

Mao: Fine! Curse you, you wretched woman!....I love you! There, are you pleased with yourself?! You've corrupted an Overlord.

Pleinair:....

Mao: Then again severely denying one's feelings for their girlfriend in public could be considered sorta fiendish can't it?

Pleinair:....

Mao: I don't go around making any excuse to be good! What a heinous accusation!

Pleinair:....

Mao: Go inside and watch a movie? If that's what you wanna do then.

Pleinair:....

Mao: I'll go get something real good then. You coming?

Pleinair:....

Mao: Alright then. Just shoot at the Prinnies if you need anything. See ya.

Pleinair:....

Pleinair: I love you too.

Author's Note: It's weird, this is mostly gag and humor but this couple might actually work, at least in my distorted vulgar perspective. I wouldn't do a oneshot about them and it's definitely on the bottom of my list. Heck, there's a bigger chance of me working on a Etna x Hanako fanfic then this and that's basically loli x superloli. Then again, you never know.


	2. Your Mom's Hot

Disgaea Scripted

Your Mom's Hot!

Mao: Another tale of tragedy and overblown angst with people losing their minds, reshaping humanity and fighting in gigantic monstrosities all while learning about themselves, sleeping with immature angry girls and hiding potential lesbianism while grown men hang around a bunch of 14 year old children on a daily basis with gay overtones flying all over the place. It's time for Neon Genesis Evangelion!

Almaz: Ouch....

Songstress: Zankoku na tenshi no you ni

Shounen yo shinwa ni nare

Author's Note: I'm sorry about that. I just felt like it is all, no offense to die hard NGE fans-which I think are the only ones who actually like it.

Almaz: You better be careful, you might start a flame war.

Author's Note: Onto the story!

* * *

Adell: Don't worry guys, I'll lift Zenon's curse and revert you all back into your human forms.

Taro: Good luck big brother.

Hanako: Can you take me with you? Please?

Adell: Sorry, it's dangerous stuff Hanako and I refuse to put a child in such danger. That's just my style.

Taro: It's less of a style and more of being a good person in actuality.

Adell: And being a good person is just my style.

Taro:....

Rozalin: Shall we be departing now or do you need to pose a few more times and show off those big knuckles of yours?

Adell: What? Did you say something? These poses are just my fighting style leaking into my everyday movements.

Rozalin: And you still deny you're a battle maniac?

Adell: Why do you keep calling me that anyway? I'm fighting for my family.

Rozalin: If your own house insulted you you would fight it to the death I wager.

Adell: What did the house say about my family?! I'll beat to pieces!

Taro: Is big brother really a human, sis?

Hanako: Who knows? It's not like a human wouldn't act like him anyway.

(The sounds of an electric guitar erupts through the air!)

Adell: Hmm? What's going on?

Rozalin: There seems to be fog and lights emerging from the Dimension Portal.

Adell: Everyone stay back, whoever it is is going to have to answer to me!

Tink: Ze mist, it burns my eyes!

Axel: Haha! That's just my glorious superstar energy seeping into your body!

Tink: No, I can feel my irises scorching into cinders! Help me, somebody please!

Adell: Axel? What are you doing here? We don't want a stupid autograph or tickets to a concert.

Axel: Don't worry, your free tickets will be delivered in the mail. I know you must be one of my tsundere fans who insult me in front of your other friends because I'm just too cool and popular. Like how people treat Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Adell: Seriously, how long is the NGE gags going to last? It's chapter two of this poorly written garbage and we're reduced to pop references already?

Taro: Horse Weiner!

Adell: At least that was an inside joke for the fans.

Axel: Despite the anime insults and pelvic jokes, I must stay here until I accomplish my task.

Rozalin: A task? Are you on some sort of quest I wonder.

Axel: You're absolutely correct. I'll give you a free signed CD later.

Rozalin: Really? That's quite generous of you. Does it have White Tiger on it?

Axel: All my CDs come with it! It's mandatory listening music.

Rozalin: Wonderful.

Adell: Enough with the breaking of the fourth wall and giving away of excellent prizes. Why are you here Axel?

Axel: Like I said, I'm on a quest. I couldn't hope to embark on it earlier due to my poverty and lack of popularity but now I have the confidence and backup I need to prove myself. Adell, I'm here to ask your mom out!

Adell: What. The. Hell.

Tink: Mon ami! You can't be serious!!

Hanako: I don't want a weird daddy like him! I'm happy with my boring, simple old daddy!

Father: How...how heartless.

Mother: You want to ask me out on a date? But surely you can see the vast differences between us.

Adell: Yeah, like my foot in your face Axel!

Axel: I know it sounds quite strange but your mom is quite a mature and beautiful woman. She's intrigued me since the first day I laid eyes on her.

Adell: Um...when have you ever come to my house?

Axel: Coming to your house, peeping through the windows, it doesn't matter. The more I listened to her and watched her the more entranced I became! I knew that in my condition I couldn't possibly make the offer due to my struggling career and broken life but now my finances are secure and my life is corrected.

Adell: Yeah, that's what stopped you from flirting with my mom. Your poverty, not the fact that she's a married woman.

Mother: Now now Adell, let's not rule anything out.

Adell: Mom?!

Father: Honey?!

Mother: It might be fun to play around with such a vibrant goofball like him. He definitely has the spunk and energy that made me fall in love with your father back when we were humans.

Axel: I hate to brag but I'm also a family man. I have four siblings and a pet Saber Cat.

Adell: Hate to brag huh? Listen, you best be leaving now because I've just equipped my Burning Rage knuckles on and I know how to use Big Bang.

Axel: I've come prepared myself. I'm equipped with Legendary Burning Rage knuckles and three Arcadias!

Rozalin: Oh my, he's actually serious about this!

Axel: With money as a superstar finding these were easy. I even spent 5 hours in the item world building them up, holding every level sphere and dashing off to every portal I could. I even skipped the mystery gates just to hurry up and level my items.

Rozalin: While your heart was in the right place you really do need to use those mystery gates. They provide fortune tellers, battles and stores that give you rare items. Such things could help improve the abilities of your items. Nonetheless, you must be exceedingly powerful by now.

Adell: Damnit, I can't just let my mom date Axel. You're just taking advantage of the fact that she has no conscious as a demon.

Axel: If I can make her happy as a demon, what's stopping me?

Adell: Grr....ever since you got your own story mode in Dark Hero Days you've gotten a bit too confident.

Axel: How does it feel to be the last person to get magichange and Saber Cats?

Mother: That settles it. If I'm going to be a demon I might as well enjoy life as a demon. Adell sweetie, you go fight Zenon and lift this curse. In the meantime I'm going to grab my nicest dress and go partying with Axel.

Adell: Mom?!

Mother: Bye guys. I'll see you later tonight.

Father: Tonight?! Adell....

Adell: Yes Dad?

Father: Here...Level 100 Legendary Golden Fists. Use them.

Adell: Thanks Dad.

Father: And a pair of Sexy Panties with high defense.

Adell: Why do you have these? And why do you expect me to wear them?

Father: Just go son. Get your mother back before it's too late.

Adell: I promise, I will save her from Axel. (turns to stare into the glistening light of the sun with a manly determined stare) Even if I have to kill a million soldiers and fend off a thousand armies at once. No, scratch that. Three Tyrant Baals with the "Strongest Enemies" bill passed and I have no equipment. The fields are covered in Enemy Boost 100% panels and Ally Damage 100%.

Rozalin: A battle maniac through and through.

Hanako: Can I wear the Sexy Panties?

Adell: No way!

Taro: Can I?

Adell: Taro?


End file.
